Laziness, Procrastination, and Low Motivation
These are among the most common concerns from parents beginning in late elementary school and increasing into the teen years. While it may seem that there are simple solutions, these are actually complex problems. It’s not a matter of will power.
There are a number of factors that contribute to laziness, procrastination, and low motivation. These factors can be organized into two categories, but they are not actually separate.
The first category includes emotional factors. Depending on your child’s age and cognitive abilities, self-awareness and expression about these complex emotions are variable. The second category is called executive skills, which are self-regulatory skills that help an individual accomplish goals, and these continue to develop into early adulthood. Here are some specific examples:
Emotional Considerations
- Fear of failure
- Anxiety when trying new or difficult things
- Hopelessness
- Sadness or low mood
- Feeling ineffective or incapable; low self-esteem
- Overwhelm with where to start
Executive Skill Considerations
- Attention and concentration
- Initiating or getting started
- Persistence when bored or challenged
- Time management
- Planning, prioritizing, and organizing (e.g., breaking tasks down into manageable parts)
- Flexibility in thinking and behavior (e.g., getting stuck)
- Self-monitoring (e.g., recognizing when to change your strategy)
- Problem solving skills
Consider the Timeline
If these are longstanding behaviors, it’s possible that the cause is related to a cognitive or neurodevelopmental difference (e.g., slowed processing speed) or a disorder (e.g., ADHD, learning disability, etc). If these concerns seem to have become more apparent with age, it’s likely that they are related to increasing demands and a new stage of development. For emotional considerations, notice if your concerns align with life, family, or social stressors.
The word “lazy” is problematic and can be harmful.
“Lazy” conveys that the problem is intentional due to a lack of will or desire. When a child is struggling due to any of the emotional or executive skill challenges listed above, describing the child as “lazy” could exacerbate the obstacles.
It’s critical to approach your concerns with curiosity and compassion. Your child is likely receiving a great deal of negative feedback and real-world consequences. It’s typically the case that a child or teen wants to do well, to feel proud, and to accomplish goals that matter. It’s not likely that they intentionally avoid and procrastinate to make their life more difficult.
Read below for a couple fictitious patient examples:
Sarah is a 13 year old girl who enjoyed the swim team, reading science fiction books, and math. Since she transitioned to a new school, her parents have noticed a slow change in her behavior. Her room is always messy, she leaves dirty dishes around the house, she forgets her belongings, and her grades have dropped due to late and missing assignments. Sarah has been taking more naps and spending more time alone on social media. She is late to swim practice. Sarah becomes irritable when her parents try to talk with her about these behaviors.
After parent-teacher meetings reveal that Sarah is also not participating in class, her parents decide that consequences are needed. They place restrictions on social activities and technology use at home. They create a daily schedule for chores, homework and studying. Yet concerns do not get better. Sarah’s family decides to talk with the school counselor and she begins to meet with Sarah regularly. It becomes clear that Sarah is struggling with symptoms of depression since she changed schools. She has not found her peer group. Depressed mood has contributed to feelings of sadness, hopelessness, fatigue, poor attention, slow processing speed, forgetfulness, overwhelm, and sleep disruption. She couldn’t keep up, so she was giving up. Sarah had no motivation to care anymore.
With a recommendation from her pediatrician, Sarah began a medication for depression. Within about 3 months, Sarah and her family noticed a significant improvement in motivation and task avoidance. She took more initiative to be helpful around the house. Her sleep quality at night improved and she stopped taking naps. Sarah started participating clubs and events at school. She worked hard to make up missing assignments and stay on top of her schoolwork. Sarah, her parents, teachers, and pediatrician continued to communicate to monitor her ongoing progress in the coming months.
************************
Michael is a 10 year old boy with lots of energy who loves soccer and collecting race cars. He has a history of early developmental delays that resolved, and he was diagnosed with ADHD last year. He is halfway through his 5th grade year and is really struggling to meet classroom demands. Michael’s parents need to constantly remind him to stay on task during homework, to check his work for errors, and to turn in completed work. He frequently waits until the last minute to start reading assignments and becomes overwhelmed. He gets bored easily. Michael also requires repeated reminders to brush his teeth, pick up his belongings, and help with chores on the weekend. His parents wonder if he will ever become independent. They wonder why he needs so much more help than his younger sister. When they get frustrated with him, Michael becomes tearful and embarrassed. He says that he really tries his best, but he’s just “stupid”.
Michael’s parents attend a seminar at school about ADHD. They discover that many of his challenges are related to poor executive skills, which are typical for ADHD. Michael and his family decide to try an Executive Skills Intervention Program. This program helps teach strategies to address weak skills in the following areas: Time Management, Task Initiation, Planning/Organization, Working Memory, Inhibition, and Persistence.
Michael initially makes significant progress. But over time, they notice that he is very inconsistent and doesn’t follow through with his new strategies. Thus, they also implement a reward system to improve motivation to use his executive skills strategies. Michael earns tokens that can be traded for things that he values (e.g., video game time, movies, play dates with friends, favorite dinner, and collectible race cars). This seems to be effective! Michael’s homework quality and completion, along with independence for daily routines finally begin to improve.
Do you recognize any of these concerns in your child or teen? Here are next steps to consider:
- Talk with your child about your concerns during a time when emotions are not high, when you can be calm, curious, and supportive. Adjust your conversation based on your child’s age, knowing that young children and those with developmental delays may not understand “why” these behaviors occur. Sometimes children are more likely to engage in conversation if it occurs during another task, such as while riding in the car, going for a walk, or playing a game. Notice the words your child uses. Notice their emotions.
- Talk with the teachers and school staff who know your child. Get a sense of what is happening at school. Ask about social-emotional and academic functioning. Is it the same or different than home? Ask about any programs or services at school that could be helpful. Do they teach executive skills at school? Do they offer counseling? What about parent seminars or groups?
- If you are already working with a counselor or psychologist, ask for a family counseling session to share and discuss these concerns. What strategies are being taught in therapy and how can you reinforce those at home?
- If depression, anxiety, behavior challenges, or ADHD symptoms are significantly impacting your child’s daily life, talk with your medical team to get your questions answered about the possibility of trying medication. Extensive research shows that this could be a very effective short-term intervention. If your child sees medical specialists (e.g., cardiologist, neurologist, genetics), it may be helpful to contact them before your pediatrician. And if you have trouble finding the right medication, be sure to work with a child psychiatrist rather than the pediatrician.
If your child has not had a neuropsychological evaluation or your child’s last evaluation was more than a year ago, a current evaluation can be very helpful. Development is very discontinuous, and this means that new challenges can emerge across critical stages of development. The emotional and executive skills weaknesses contributing to avoidance, procrastination, and low motivation can be teased apart with a neuropsychological evaluation. The evaluation will also help reveal where to focus and target interventions. Learn more by reading: “Why a neuropsychological evaluation”. Also feel free to contact us here to learn how we can help.
