Why can’t my child retain information?

By Dawn Ilardi | May 8, 2024

This is what I hear from parents…

Even with repetition, information does not stick in my child’s memory.
My child knows the material while studying or doing homework, but then they do poorly on the test.
Despite practice, my child can’t remember math facts, spelling words, and/or sight words.

Oftentimes the most difficult type of learning and memory is called rote learning. This is learning that has very little content or meaning. As a result, students tend to just review and try to memorize the material, such as with spelling words. While some students can memorize spelling words by writing each word in a sentence 5 times, this won’t work for some children.

When you see your child put in a lot of work into studying, completing homework, and preparing for a test, it’s heartbreaking when they don’t do well. It helps to know a child’s strengths and weaknesses, but there are some common principals about how to learn and retain information.

Here are some common myths and mistakes when studying to learn:

Re-reading and highlighting the key words/content is helpful. Unfortunately, this method is too passive because it doesn’t require much mental effort.
If learning is difficult, there must be something wrong with me. It shouldn’t be so difficult to learn. WRONG! The more effortful the activities you create to study and learn, the more likely you are putting down memories into long term storage. If learning is too easy, it’s not likely to stick in your memory.
Re-reading and reviewing lecture notes are helpful. This is also a passive form of learning. It won’t be enough to get the information into your memory.

You probably already know this but cramming just before the test won’t be most effective either. It might work for an occasional student (in the short-term), but it doesn’t work well for most students, and they risk not retaining the material beyond the test. This means they will forget the material before they can apply it later. Waiting until the last minute will negatively impact learning for sure.

So what can you do to help your child study to learn? Here are some considerations:

Help your child accept that good effort means reward. The harder they are trying, the better they are learning. Explain to them that they are literally forming new connections between brain cells, and this takes work. Just like when we build muscle through physical exercise, it’s not easy. True learning is hard work.
Any activity that requires them to pull information out of their memory is the best way to review and study. This is called “retrieval”. Some strategies include quizzes, flashcards, mock tests, and so on. Your child help you make up their own questions for practice quizzes. Explain to your child that each time they “retrieve” the information from their memory, the brain pathway gets stronger. If they retrieve it over and over, it will be easier to recall later.
Change it up! If you study in the same way each time, it becomes too predictable. Be sure to find new ways to “retrieve” the information. Make it fun and playful. Find new methods for assessing your child’s knowledge to see if it generalizes or transfers to a new context.
Ask your child to explain and elaborate, or even TEACH YOU what they are learning! The ultimate way anyone demonstrates what they know is through teaching. They can pretend you are the student.
Be sure to spread out the studying over time. There need to be gaps in time to allow the memories to sink in, to consolidate or stick, and then to be retrieved again.
Find ways to make learning relatable to real life for your child. And how does the material relate to other subjects at school? Try to help them make connections.
Look for creative activities, music, and other options that support the content they are learning. Check local museums, documentaries, and online videos too. If you can find ways to engage their senses beyond just listening, reading, and writing, this will help.

Here are some activities that promote a deeper level of learning by actively challenging their ability to retrieve, elaborate, manipulate, generalize, and communicate about the information. They might even do these in a student group to make them more fun:

Flashcards – target word or question on one side, answer on the other and mix them up

Memory Cards – match pairs, such as question with answer

Diagram or Draw it Out – transfer the concepts into pictures and visual representations

Story Telling – place the material into a plot, cartoon, or movie

Journaling – reflect on the material, how it relates to personal experiences, draw connections

Become the Teacher – your student can teach a lesson to family members

Quizzes and Practice Tests –create their own questions while studying and then test themselves

Help your child monitor what is working when they get feedback from tests and assignments. They can keep track of errors and mistakes too. This way they learn, adjust, and tailor their studying based on their own learning style. Ask your teacher for more suggestions!

If you feel like your child’s learning is met with challenges that are hard to support at home, and school-based strategies have not be enough, reach out to us to see if we can help. Some children may need accommodations or modifications to their assignments and tests to appropriately support them. Other times, the educational supports at school are not enough. Your child may need a neuropsychological evaluation to inform the reasons for problems with retention, and to provide you with a plan tailored to your child.

We would be happy to help! Email us to schedule an initial consultation at [email protected]