Simple breathing exercises for kids to calm their nervous system
When your child feels overwhelmed, anxious, or wound up, you want to help them find a place of calm again. Breathing exercises are one tool you can teach your child – lots of research shows these simple techniques change how their nervous system responds to stress. Before you try these during those times of big emotion, be sure to first practice them during times of calm.
Why breathing exercises work for regulating stress
Your child’s nervous system has two main modes: “fight, flight, freeze” (sympathetic) and “rest and digest” (parasympathetic). When kids feel stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed, their sympathetic nervous system kicks in – heart rate speeds up, muscles tense, and breathing becomes shallow.
Belly breathing (diaphragmatic breathing) activates the calming parasympathetic nervous system (vagus nerve), which tells your child’s body it’s safe to relax. Research shows that even a few minutes of deep breathing can reduce physiological arousal and therefore the ability to tolerate stressful moments. This works for adults too!
The science behind breathing
Research from Stanford University found that just a few minutes of deep breathing significantly reduces children’s physiological stress response. Here is an online video from a recent study that you can introduce to your child (around 5-9 years old): https://vimeo.com/442138273
5 techniques to try with kids
1. Belly breathing
This technique teaches kids to breathe deeply using their diaphragm. Help them think of their belly as a balloon that expands.
How to do it:
- Have your child place one hand on their chest, one on their belly. If they are laying down, they can also place a little stuffed animal on their belly to watch it move.
- Ask them to breathe in slowly through their nose with their lips closed.
- The belly hand should move out (i.e., the balloon expands) while the chest hand stays still. If laying down, the stuffed animal on their belly will rise up on their expanded belly.
- Ask them to exhale slowly through their open mouth.
- Practice 3-5 times together
2. Take-five finger breathing
This strategy can also help kids focus their attention and become mindful of the moment.
How to do it:
- Hold up one hand with fingers spread
- Use the other hand’s index finger to trace the spread fingers, up and down one at a time.
- Start by tracing up the thumb while breathing in
- Then trace down the thumb while breathing out
- Continue across all five fingers
3. Smell the flower (or cookie), blow out the candle (or hot pizza)
Great for children who respond well to visual imagery.
How to do it:
- Pretend to hold a flower (or cookie) in one hand, a birthday candle (or hot slice of pizza) in the other
- Breathe in slowly through the nose with mouth closed to “smell” the flower (cookie)
- Breathe out slowly with open mouth to “blow out” the candle (“cool” off the pizza)
- Repeat 3-5 times (make sure they’re filling that belly with air like a balloon rather than expanding their chest)
4. Bubble breathing
This strategy is great for young kids because it’s very concrete and gives them immediate feedback about their breath.
How to do it:
- Give your child bubbles with a wand
- Breathe in slowly and deeply with mouth closed.
- Exhale slowly and steadily to create a steady stream of bubbles or one big bubble. Encourage them to go slow so they don’t pop!
- They can watch the bubbles fall in between breaths.
- Repeat 3-5 times
5. Four-count “box” breathing (ages 7+)
A simple rhythm that’s easy to remember by thinking about imaging a box, going around each side and pausing at the corners. This is great for older kids and adults.
How to do it:
- Breathe in with mouth closed for 1, 2, 3, 4 counts (imagine tracing up the left side of box)
- Hold breath for 4 counts (pause at left top corner of box)
- Breathe out for 4 counts (tracing across top of box)
- Hold for 4 counts (pause at top right corner of box)
- Breathe in for 4 counts (tracing down right side of box)
- Hold for 4 counts (pause at bottom right corner of box)
- Continue around the box …
Making breathing exercises part of daily life
Practice when calm first. Introduce these techniques when your child isn’t stressed or overwhelmed, so they can learn these breathing skills and they are familiar.
Start with family practice. Do breathing exercises together during car rides, before homework, or as part of bedtime routine. Kids learn best by watching you model these techniques.
Keep it simple. Don’t worry if your child doesn’t do the technique “perfectly.” Trust your child’s preferences. Some kids love the imagery techniques while others prefer counting. Stay curious about what resonates with your individual child. Add your own creative ideas.
Trust your parental instincts
You know your child best. If they’re struggling with persistent anxiety, fears, having trouble sleeping, or seem chronically overwhelmed and easily frustrated, talk with their medical or school to find individualized counseling support.
