Anxiety, it’s not what you think.
Anxiety is a core area that should be evaluated in every child presenting with developmental differences. Science tells us that elevated anxiety is becoming more common. Early identification can help reduce its impact on a child’s life. For children with a medical history, and especially those who require ongoing medical procedures, treatments, or surgeries, they may can be risk of developing physical symptoms that are related to anxiety.
It seems that “anxiety” is commonly misunderstood.
When I ask families about anxiety in their child, the conversation that follows can be unpredictable. If a family says “yes”, they may provide examples that are not consistent with anxiety. If the family says “no”, I provide examples to be sure; and sometimes they change their answer to “yes” following those examples. It’s an interesting challenge that anxiety seems to mean so many things to different people.
To be clear, here are some examples I might provide. These can be related to anxiety and include worry, fearfulness, and inflexibility (getting stuck).
Do you notice any of the following in your child?
- Worries more than expected
- Shows generalized fearfulness
- Has a significant fear response that affects routines (e.g., requires restraint for medical/dental care; avoids elevators, large crowds)
- Avoids activities when they believe they can’t do it well enough
- Afraid to make mistakes
- Has unrealistically high standards for themself
- Requires a high level of structure and routine to avoid distress; has difficulty adjusting to change and the unexpected
- Is overly particular or inflexible (e.g., position of belongings, food, routine sequence)
- Is overly black and white or concrete about rules and norms
- Mind goes blank when under pressure (e.g., timed testing; talking to strangers)
- Repetitive questions, thoughts, or behaviors
If you responded yes to the examples above, do you also notice any of the following?
- Irritable and edgy
- Cannot separate from a parent without distress
- Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep; can’t sleep alone
- Eats too much or too little
- Frequent physical symptoms with no medical cause (e.g., stomach upset, headaches, illness, etc)
- Problems connecting with others the same age; prefers adults or kids who are much younger/older
- Feelings and behavior are impacting school or sports
Anxiety can be present even when it’s not obvious. It can manifest as physical symptoms, edgy or irritable behavior, obsessive and repetitive behaviors, and more. No wonder it’s tricky to identify and communicate about anxiety.
Did you know that anxiety is contagious?
Well, not exactly. What I mean is that when you feel anxious, it’s likely that your child (or nearby adults) notice and can “feel” it too. The reverse is also true. If your child is feeling anxious, I bet you feel it too. It just may not “feel” exactly like you think because anxiety can be tricky. The contagion of anxiety can affect multiple members of the family. Anxiety is also heritable, so it can be passed along through our genes.
If you endorsed any of the concerns described above, it’s possible that your child may be experiencing anxiety. Just like any other feeling, anxiety occurs on a continuum from very mild to very severe. When anxiety affects daily life and especially when it affects multiple areas of life (e.g., home, school, hobbies, friends, family, medical care), your child needs help.
Talk with your school counselor to learn about possible resources at school. If you children is already in counseling, ask for a parent meeting to learn what coping strategies you can be reinforcing at home. And if your child has not participated in counseling and the school is not able to help, contact your insurance company to find counselors and psychologists in your area. Use their names to search for websites to learn more about their services. Then call and schedule a consultation. Remember that the counseling relationship needs to be a good fit. This can be a process and takes time, don’t give up.
If your child has a neurological or medical condition and has not had a neuropsychological evaluation, this may be helpful. Sometimes these kids can be complicated. Your child’s anxiety may be a reflection of concerns that need to be uncovered with a detailed assessment. Reach out to us at the Pediatric Neurodevelopmental Center for a free consultation: 404-721-2644.
Also check out the following resources that may be helpful:
Your Child’s Stomachaches, Headaches, and Other Physical Symptoms Could be Related to Stress.
